so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
