Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
