I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
