I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
