I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
