Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I need a beard to bite.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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