3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
