i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
