Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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