Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just invented taco cereal.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
