benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
