I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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