I feel like abortions should bother me more
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
