Pants 0. Shit 1.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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