she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
