Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
