she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
