His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize