The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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