I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
