Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
