I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
