and you said cock pushups were impossible
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
