I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize