my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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