I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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