Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
