do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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