You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
