I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The adults are the big ones right?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
