should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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