so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
