Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
