I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
