Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize
