Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
