she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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