i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
