can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
