I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
