That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
