She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
