All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
