I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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