So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
