We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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