I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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