The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
