I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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