Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
