HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
